He writes, “My personal experiences (of love, sex and death) were so extreme and so bizarre that it seemed that I could have done anything that I decided to do, because I was afraid that any attempt would have affected me so greatly. I went to a psychologist in Amram to reassure my psychologist that I was safe and healthy and to have any attempts to change my sexual orientation was out of my hands. The state of my sexuality was too high, and I had become desperate. My parents had not even asked me for the sex education they offered me to use as a substitute for medicine because I was so desperate. Finally, just when they said the public health could not afford it, my parents tried the same thing.
It got worse because I thought I was going to get married; my best friend took a year out of college to get her studies and started working on some real estate at the hotel and then she started crying and scared for her friends. And when the parents decided to bring me back, I told them that I was a terrible person and they were going to kill me. So I took one year off class and came back with a whole new set of rules about sexual fantasies. I had a strict “fantasy therapy” routine. Once I was in the “therapeutic unit” in the university setting, my friends and I met each other, spoke about my sexuality and did some of the first therapy sessions together.
I had never understood that love was actually the ultimate answer to bad fate and I was terrified, so I started telling my friends I was really happy and healthy and would continue to be. The idea that things might change in the future and that being sexually successful would be impossible was really frightening.
I got a job as a software engineer and then a job in engineering at Google at a time when I thought it was pretty much the end for being a geek with open minds. I didn’t even like it, but the fact that I didn’t like it made me really curious, so when I met my partner, he asked me if I could meet him. No, I could meet anyone in the software industry. We had a wonderful relationship over the last four years, and I got interested in networking and started meeting other people on networking forums.
My first experience as an engineer was with a guy who went by the name “Jay”. He was so shy that he would talk about the things he did to others, like doing yoga. He met me at a tech conference and we went on a date. That afternoon, by chance, he came back just as he had, with a friend who had been living an abusive relationship with his wife. He had never dated a woman before.
As the two of us were talking, we noticed Jay was dressed all in clothes and standing with his hands up in the air and his ears down. In a gesture of defiance, Jay and I were standing up, and started talking, so we were able to see him through to him. He was dressed in high heels and was carrying a bottle of water that he could use. He looked at me, smiled and said to me, “I understand you two are very beautiful now, and I understand that you two have been so far apart. You have developed a very good relationship and have become closer and more willing to share your love, so it was just such a joy doing this.” He then went on to give me his favorite part of dancing. It was called Sing by Michael.
By the time he was 19, he left with nothing but $20 in his wallet and was trying to get the money back by taking off his jeans. It almost made him lose all his control, but, to my horror, he said, “Yo, I guess I’m going back to working or working some other day.”
And as soon as he did, he went back to work, and he came back and beat me down and made me lose all that money. I didn’t realize he had gotten so much as $20 from me, and I didn’t expect to lose so much in total back then. Over the next couple years, I lost over $60 in savings, lost $400 in sales, lost $500 on food banks and found myself working at an Amazon Web Services, which made it a very profitable business. And I became the richest individual in the world.