~ Crawling into a coffin ~ ~~~
I’m still in shock of all how well everything went. I couldn’t believe it. I cried so much inside, of all the reasons this was meant to be, but all I can see is just how right I was. The whole thing was only meant to be, and yet everything went perfectly. We got through it together.
After I got home, I began to worry. It was only for a few days, but my worry was always there. I didn’t want to lose sleep over it, but a part of me knew that wasn’t likely. After all, we’re both survivors, so it shouldn’t be unreasonable to come up with some kind of contingency plan. So I began to figure out several ways in which I could take care of this problem if it ever came up again.
Before I did anything else, I started making a little list of things I wanted to bring with me.
I had a pair of scissors. I wanted to be able to cut them myself, rather than having someone do it for me. I didn’t know what my scissors would be made out of, but I didn’t have much choice in that. I decided that I had to have some sort of lock on it so I wouldn’t have to worry about going looking for an alternative. Then, I decided to look for a lock I could find that would prevent access to it. I found a few in the trash. Even though I already had all my supplies, I didn’t want to go hunting for them, so I grabbed the most obvious ones that showed up.
For my backpack, I got the same lock as they had for the scissors. I put two pieces of paper on top of it which I had to put back in their places periodically, to ensure I didn’t get stuck using them. I spent a couple hours trying to figure out whether I would be able to take care of this lock, and the others, all while keeping my eyes open to see if anything crazy happened. If I did manage to stay free and my backpack safe, I would have to figure out some way I could go from here in order to get to somewhere else quickly. I had a plan for that, too, which I won’t share with you all. It doesn’t give me much to work with; it would be a big waste of time to attempt something like that. If you want more information on it, I recommend checking out my past blog posts where I talked about various problems that I have with being surrounded by people, people with no idea about what’s going on.
When we decided to leave, I tried to tell myself that I was just being silly. If people cared enough to spend time with me instead of watching scary movies and stuff, that was their right. They made the call, so I couldn’t complain. I had so much to be grateful for, and while I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to give it all up, I do wonder if it was worth it to give up my old life without a fight. At the very least, I’m glad that I was able to be around people in a time when other people might have given it up because it felt like such a weight off of my shoulders.
I didn’t tell either of my parents about it right away. Instead, I decided to keep it to myself, at least for the time being. I didn’t want to leave everything I had on that first date, especially since I didn’t really want to. Instead, I just decided that as long as I had people to meet when I returned, I’d take the worst of both worlds and start life all over. On those first few days, I thought that I was going to be going around visiting friends for a number of days, so I did that. I spent quite a bit of extra time with my family, but what seemed like a quick trip turned into several days, and some kind of arrangement was finally made for some kind of time to come back home.
On the second weekend I was back, I spent another week at the hotel. It was another normal vacation, so I took my normal work schedule. My boss, my friends, and my bosses new-boss, all ended up returning to their usual weekly work patterns, so I had zero real interruptions during that week.
The next weekend was also a normal one. I worked as my normal freelance gig for a few days. I don’t know how I’m still sane enough to be doing this now. It was a really odd experience, seeing how I seemed to be completely oblivious to the way things were. It wasn’t until I was in my room trying to change and change into my clothes again in the middle of the night, a few hours after my first shift ended, that I realized there wasn’t even a light bulb in the room. This had never happened for