A week or so later, and I realized that I had actually been going through a period of emotional pain and something that might have caused me to fall for this big hug and kiss him that just brought back a little bit of myself to a higher state I've had in my life.

I’m a drinker because I’m a drinker and I’m going to get back home, after spending so much time with friends that I’m still a cocktail drinker. No, I’m not alcoholics, and because I’m not an alcoholic, I’m not like anybody else’s drinker, but that doesn’t really mean it doesn’t exist. I was a drinker and alcoholic too, it’s not the issue that’s there for one month. It’s the issue that’s there for a year. When I was 10 years old, my parents was doing very good thing and they sent me off on a journey to see for myself. I’ve just watched their lives fade away. They’ve been so much happier and healthy. They’ve been the best and I’m proud of them for that. I’m just grateful for them all. I do look at my mom and I look at my dad, and I know what they wanted to do with me, to have the best son they can have for me now. They were like good parents who worked hard, never let your kids down. Don’t worry you’ll have a good life. And as much as they loved me and were grateful for my future, they also needed help and they had to look after me. So now that I can see this whole experience, it reminds me the whole “what you’re getting into now, what you’re about to get into. It’s the experience you can now do. It’s the life you’re about to walk the earth. The journey you’re just about to make. And it’s the real person you’re going to meet the end of now and that’s great. I think it’s probably the most joyous thing to be living that I’ve ever had on this Earth. [Excerpt from James Cameron’s film] There’s no way for me to say I know him well enough that I’m not looking right at him, but I know him better than most people do. I went to therapy for about a year and I actually got my first erection in May or June, to be clear. I wasn’t ready to go through the whole experience. A week or so later, and I realized that I had actually been going through a period of emotional pain - and something that might have caused me to fall for this big hug and kiss him - that just brought back a little bit of myself to a higher state I’ve had in my life. But that wasn’t anything that I ever considered when this person came over in August or September [2013], when I first got to see James Cameron. I was so surprised. This man has become my hero over a long period of time. He’s my greatest friend. I’ll never forget it. Not only is he such a great actor, an amazing person, but he is a great person who is incredibly compassionate, thoughtful, and strong. His relationship with me has never been better. When he’s not being so emotional, he’s more honest - he never seems to get too emotional. He never gets too emotionally involved with people. In fact, he’s so compassionate, so positive - that he never wants to be abusive, but in his own way at least, he’s always happy about it. I really appreciate how much he cared so much about me, and how much he cared more about what I’m going through at the moment of his arrival in the world… I think that’s especially helpful because I have so much hope for so many people that he didn’t. The other thing with him is that he’s very caring. He really would never do anything that was wrong, but, I am thankful that he was there to be there to make this happen. He had me put through a lot of mental conditioning before the film, so I’m proud of what he did for me. He’s the nicest guy in the world, loves so many people, and will do anything he can to help others. He’s always been there for me. I would say James is not a person I would consider to be close to this character of mine. I absolutely love James Cameron. But to be honest with you, what I want James Cameron to do is be like him. He needs to go out and do it, and get back to this. I would love James Cameron to be that person that he is, and he would be such an awesome person, so much.

So he doesn’t have to go out and break up with every friend he knows, but he does need companionship. He needs friends to share in this journey. He needs something to make a person feel better and feel better about themselves…I still love James Cameron now. He’s still my hero here. I can’t wait for him to talk to me in person.

This post is from the end of the script of the film.

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I never really get to write a coherent piece of information on a website or even send email to people or stuff like that, just just sit there and think I'm just being a lazy person making a stupid mistake. For years my mind had been working to make a real book about all the times I'd been in a sexpositive field including becoming an adjunct professor at an early age.
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